my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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