I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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