Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
