KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
