just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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