Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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