Screwed.edu
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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