After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
