my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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