Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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