Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
