I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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