i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
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There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
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He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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