if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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