He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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