had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
