just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
