just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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