this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
