I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
