All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we're making bets on your personal life
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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