Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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