Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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