Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
