Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
this just has baby written all over it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
