Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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