Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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