Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
