I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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