Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize