i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
