I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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