I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
