great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
