She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize