OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
