I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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