I got chris browned last night
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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