And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize