I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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