In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
