If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
