I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
