so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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