Fine. I'll sleep in my office
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
