You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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