I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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