I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
