You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
