I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
