I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I need a beard to bite.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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