well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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