I haven't been this sober since birth.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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