You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
