she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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