If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
