Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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