I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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