So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
