Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I want to make a zoo with you.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
