I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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