i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
