Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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