Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i think i have herpe
just one?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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