If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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