Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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