Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
