You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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