Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
